Posts tagged India

India has always treated its boys and girls differently. Girls are taught from a very young age to be obedient to their male counterparts and they are prepared to be compliant, demure wives, and thus, whenever a girl decides to take her life into her own hands or put her happiness before other people's, she is ostracized as a "rebel", her character is put under question and the girl herself cannot have dreams of her own or be passionate about anything without feeling guilty, because of the way she has been trained to think and believe by the patriarchal society.

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I was molested because there were no lights in my alley. After the incident, I learnt that most of the women of my area faced the same. I took to social media and protested till the word went to the local MLA. After that, he promised to put lights in the alley. And now, my alley is well-lit.

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And to prove their point, I have been told several times that this job is not meant for girls as we are 'emotionally unstable'. Everyday I'm getting a step ahead to success, following my passion.

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To be a girl or woman today means to work shoulder to shoulder with men and maintain a class and a separate reputation of the women in a society, depicting that girls are no less than boys. A daughter is equal to ten sons and not tensions.

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I've never worn shorts or sleeveless blouses because my parents have never allowed me. Neither do I roam around at night. My biggest dream is to go on a solo world trip. I need to be independent enough to take my own decisions. I want to live here like a human being and not as a lady with too many restrictions.

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The few moments that stand out are connected to the two instances of childhood abuse I had experienced. Though I had once gathered courage and talked to my parents about it, they told me to stop talking. They were more concerned with how openly I spoke of it, not hiding my face or using euphemisms, than with what had happened to me.

My father closed his ears with his hands and acted as if he was being victimized by my words. My mother kept giving excuses - you were a child. You might be remembering wrong. He might not have meant to do it. My parents took the unspoken words of my two abusers over my tears. My own parents preferred I suck it up because "boys will be boys" and "this happens to everyone". 

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The life of a woman, from a distance looks similar to that of a man. They have freedom to pursue whatever they want, wear whatever they choose (what else does a woman want?!) But upon looking closely, you'll know that the freedom is not a right, but a privilege for all the ladies, according to the patriarchal society.

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“I'm good at sports. I could have been able to do more in sports but after state level competitions, my family never allowed me to go for nationals. I kept blaming my family for it. 

I'm good at studies as well but 5 years ago, I lost my father and everything fell apart within seconds so I was not able to get into my dream college. Again I blamed that situation.
After beginning my Bachelors, I just decided one thing for my own sake, "stop playing this blame game". If it really matters, get it done anyhow, against all the odds of the society.”

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“Being a woman in my part of the world, is like hiding that you bleed. Hiding that you have male friends. Hiding that you possess a pair of breasts. Hiding your skin (every inch of it.) Hiding all of your relationships. Hiding your love. Hiding the fact that you've been raped. Hiding your emotions. Hiding your tears... Hiding your tears. Hiding your anguish. Hiding your existence as an individual.

Here (in India), it's like being someone's something - Father's daughter. Husband's wife. Brother's sister. No, you're not you. You're someone's something over here.”

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“My world was entirely different, it revolved around dance, reading and spending time thinking and etc,.  And years later being a cadet at NCC which is completely against my family's wish, I achieved the highest rank as a senior under officer.  Then  I dreamt of joining the Indian Army, for which I was emotionally forbidden... My heart screamed a lot, telling me to get out from home, to run away to achieve my dreams, none of those really worked.. I was bounded to emotional bonds more.

Not being able to adjust to the traditions, and also not being able to come out of the cage, having no one around to scream my heart out, I nearly became depressed.”

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